How To Make Him Commit Without Pressure

Have you ever felt that all other women have better luck than you? Your sisters, your cousins, your friends, your companions, they all have something in common that you do not: a committed man. And you, no matter how hard you try, you cannot find the "indicated" since the men who have shared a courtship with you are always the same: infidels, they are afraid of commitment, they lie, they move away, they stop talking to you, they put you in background ... Anyway, all the men you come across do not "serve" because the good guys "are either busy or gay." True?

NOT! The only thing that is certain in the previous paragraph is that all these women do have something in common, but it is definitely not the "committed man" (because of those there are many, only you have not noticed). What they all have in common is this: SECURITY.

What is security? I am not referring to financial security or physical security. This is ANOTHER type of security; being sure of yourself and your partner. Why? Let me explain it in the simplest way I know: SECURITY = UNDERSTANDING = POSITIVE = ATTRACTION.

Let's see it as a button that is activated in the head of women, and this button is the magic button to speak and understand the language of men. You have to know CO-MU-NI-CAR-NOS. When you are at work and you go to your boss, you talk and move in a way; you express yourself differently, right? When you are with your friends, the same thing happens, as well as with your family. With each circle of people, you express yourself in a certain way. Well, the same thing happens (or should happen) with men.

The problem is that the female mind is sometimes deceiving itself. What I mean by this? When the unforeseen happens, the female mind begins to make assumptions and beliefs, and then it begins to suggest itself and BUM! Chaos and mortification!

Has it ever happened to you that the relationship was going great, and suddenly the man stopped behaving in a chivalrous way, or stopped visiting or inviting you out? And what did you do? What was your reaction What many women do (and even I did) is to try to fix a problem that does not exist. Due to past experiences, women say that they learned from the mistakes they made with their partners and that, therefore, it will not happen again, since they are now more cunning.

It is this way of thinking that makes them make the same mistake again. What do I mean by this? When a man stops talking to a woman, the woman's mind begins to imagine the worst that can happen (she returns to past experiences and draws conclusions from them): "she doesn't like me that much anymore", "she must be seeing another woman "" got mad at me ". And then there goes the woman to try to solve the problem that her mind created (which may or may not be true), and what does she do? She talks to the man and puts all her feelings on the table; She speaks to explain her mistake and explain that this makes her feel bad. Has it happened to you? Or maybe it was this other response to his behaviour: putting an ultimatum "if you don't change, I'm afraid I'll have to find someone who does want to be with me."

What is man doing? Answer: HE IS SCARED. Why? Two simple reasons:

1. You are looking very dependent on him, and that scares any man. No man likes to "be the reason for happiness" of women ... It is a lot of responsibility! Believe me, while it sounds nice, being the reason for someone's happiness can be overwhelming.
2. Women, remember that men from childhood were taught NOT to talk about their feelings, NOT to cry, NOT TO LOOK WEAK. So if men themselves don't deal with their own feelings, do they now have to deal with women's?

Don't get it wrong: should a man take women's feelings into account? Absolutely correct.

The problem is not talking about your feelings and what hurt you. The problem is the WAY you tell him about your feelings. It must be remembered that men are different from women, therefore we must approach in the way in which they can understand it best: use analogies that they know, and stay positive, always with a smile so that it is not seen that you are mortified and you would die if he didn't "change".

EYE! Talking to a man about your feelings is a VERY different thing from trying to make a man think like you. Trying to make him understand your point of view is good, but trying to let him know that you and he are for each other, and that they could be perfect, is a SERIOUS mistake. Think about it. Do you really want to CONVINCE the man that being in a relationship with you is the best for him? Or would you really prefer that he only realizes that and HE wants to be in a relationship with you?

You already know what the answer is.

So how can you make the man WANT to be in a relationship with you?

Do a little introspection. How has your attitude towards him been? Have you been nervous, insecure, dependent? All of these things scare man and make him wonder if he really wants to enter or continue a relationship with you.

What can you do?

1. SECURITY. 

Self-confidence is one of the most important attractions that a man sees in a woman. Think a little and try to remember situations like this: have you not had to see women "not very graceful" but who live surrounded by men? Yes, believe it or not, it is the confident attitude that makes men decide and WANT to be with her.

2. INDEPENDENCE

Let him know through your actions that you are independent, that you DO NOT LIVE only for HIM. You have things to do and you are not 100% available to him: give yourself your space, go out with your friends, exercise, live your life.

3. BE POSITIVE

There are good and bad things in life, but the true power lies in drawing the positive out of the worst situations. Maintaining a positive attitude is for mature people and, like it or not, we are ALL looking for a mature person in a relationship.

4. RESPECT

Show respect for him, for others and for yourself. Because, let's be frank, you can't give what you don't have, so respecting yourself and GIVING yourself respect is a very good note.

5. SERENITY

Be happy, laugh, appreciate and value what you have. Have you noticed that there are people who complain about everything, but never do anything to change it? And those people, do you feel like relating to them? NOT! So here lies another secret attraction: being serene.

Remember that you are the author of the book of your life: you decide what to write ...